and the oscar goes to…..

In Uncategorized on March 10, 2010 at 2:42 am

This is FOOTBALL  Hollywood!


So many things have happened in the league this season that have absolutely nothing to do with the game. We have been overshadowed by scandal and missed some beautiful goals and excellent football and the sports newspapers(which weren’t very good to begin with) are now pink pages of who did what, what went wrong and who hit who first. It’s become a case of accusation followed by counter accusation followed by denial. Certainly if a movie was made of this years championship it would undoubtedly be nominated for an oscar in Hollywood next year.

Vandinho could certainly play a part as a stuntman in which his vicious below the belt kicks dont connect but seem to incapacitate his victims. Luisao could also get a contract although he hasn’t quite figured out the stuntmans ability Not to connect. His timing is way off. He seems to literally floor everybody and anybody standing or otherwise already incapacitated on the ground. Sa Pinto could play a minor role alongside Liedson in a street brawl. The brawl would be over a man called Zhang who played third division football and managed to make into the National squad of a country that has 2 billion people…. Now thats real Hollywood stuff!!

Jorge “The Special Two” Jesus could have a court scene with Manuel Machado in which Machado would dazzle everybody, including the scandalously outspoken cruel Judge Victor Pereira, with his incredible vocabulary from the ‘Machadez’ language. Paulo Bento could play Machado’s incoherent assistant!

The whole Porto team could appear as the mafia similar to the Sopranos appearing on television defending their cause. Vitor Serpa would be a telephone operator intercepting suspicious phone calls. Pablo Aimar and Moises would meet in a boxing ring. There would only be one winner as we all know. CAimar would take a dive on the ground and lose. Bruno Alves would be a street fighter taking on anybody and dealing out his own personal form of vigilanty justice without the police interfering.

Carlos Carvalhal would be the manager of a run down store with disgruntled immature employees who dont want to do a decent days work. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. It depends on how they feel. Vandinho would get a three month prison sentence only to come back and save the day in the final parts of the movie.

The Porto mafia would also clean house near the end of the movie when LFV, their street rival for territory, makes a bad mistake by underestimating them. António-Pedro Vasconcelos would be shot for giving unreliable information to LFV. Porto would wipe Benifca completely out but also lose their crown to the Braga Mafia who have been quietly consolidating in the background.

 Behind the scenes and never seen during the length of the movie the smart and calculating boss Antonio Salvador whose unassuming sidekick Domingos Pacienca takes all the plaudits for being the master planner. Vandinho would be the star man and win an Oscar for best actor. This is Hollywood after all!

This weekend I’m wating for a Hollywood quote from Manuel Machado. He never seems to let us down… And of course a Renteria goal… only in Hollywood!

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